Jessie (Big Sky Dreams 3) Page 14

  “That’s not as confusing as the girls. It’s plain to see there’s no trust there. Not that I blame her. I can see the questions in her eyes, and I think it’s only a matter of time before she wants to know more than

  . I’ve told her.”

  “Did you hold something back?”

  “I didn’t hold back incidents, but I didn’t share all the specifics. The girls are very curious, and I’m sure you know they come by that honestly. Jessie’s used to being the center of information in this town. She enjoys knowing what’s going and has gone on.”

  “Will she hold it against you if you tell her more?” Bri asked. “Jessie is not a mean person-she never has been-but I don’t know what she’ll do with the details of my life.”

  “Do you think she’ll send you away?”

  “Not that. She says the girls need me and she puts them first, but she might put such a wall between the two of us that the girls will hold back, unconsciously taking their cue from her.”

  That made complete sense to Rylan and Bri. They both wished they could reassure him on Jessie’s behalf, but that wasn’t possible. On God’s behalf, however, it was completely possible.

  Rylan spent the rest of the meal reminding Seth that God had a plan and that Seth needed to remember that he had been obedient by returning to Token Creek. Rylan did not promise him that he would have no pain or heartache in the process but that obedience was always blessed.

  143”And don’t forget,” Rylan finished, “our actions here are for eternity. We do the right thing and make the right choices here for eternity’s sake. We leave the details to God as to what that’s all going to look like.”

  Jessie settled into bed, the little girls already asleep on the other side of the same bed, and thought about the day. It had been wonderful. Somewhere on the ride out of town, it occurred to her that she’d walked away from the store, going so far as to leave it in Seth’s care. She’d almost panicked, but the delight of her daughters and the absolutely decadent feeling of being gone during the workday had swiftly crowded all else aside.

  She and Meg had always been friends. Meg, the younger of the two, had started making summer-long visits to Jeb and Patience many years ago, and the result had been her staying in Token Creek to marry Brad Holden. And today, somehow Jessie had known that Meg would welcome her. It wasn’t that she’d never been to the ranch-she had several times over the years-but never on a weekday.

  Jessie sighed a little as sleep crowded in, thinking about Brad and Trace’s children and how precious they were. For a moment she thought about having a day like that every week, a day off that wasn’t a Sunday. She fell asleep before she could start to wonder where this feeling had come from.

  Rylan and Nate met each week but not always at the same time. This week they met on Saturday morning. The August weather was nice, so they had gone down to the edge of the creek and found a stretch of grass to sit on. Each man had his Bible.

  “I found a verse from Psalms that I think applies to me,” Nate said.

  “Which one?”

  144Psalm119:17: ‘Deal bountifully with thy servant, that I may live, and keep thy word.”

  “How do you think that applies to you?” Rylan asked.

  “I can’t remember too much about lying there when I was so weak, but after you told me I wasn’t ready I do remember trying to talk to God. I hadn’t done that very often, and I realize now that I was trying to make a deal with Him.”

  Rylan had not heard this before and was quiet as Nate shared.

  “I think I said something about ‘Just let me live, just let me live,’ but I never worked out what my end of the bargain would be if He actually did that.”

  “And this verse reminds you of that?”

  “A little. It almost sounds to me as if the writer is trying to make a deal with God.”

  “I can see why it might look that way, but don’t take this verse out of context. It’s from an amazing chapter where all but a handful of verses mention God’s Word. That might not seem all that significant, but there are 176 verses in that chapter.”

  Nate blinked with surprise but kept listening.

  “The psalmist is asking to live for a reason, that reason being God’s Word. There is nothing self-seeking in this request. God’s Word is so great and precious that this writer asks for more time so he can know that Word.

  “Also, be sure to keep the next seven verses with it. They’re all a plea and a thanksgiving to God for how amazing His Word is and how much we need it.”

  The men took time to read all the verses that Rylan mentioned and then prayed together. They were just minutes away from Nate heading to work when Rylan asked how Nate was doing with the topic of Heather.

  “Most days I’m all right,” Nate said. “It’s hard not knowing if she doesn’t want me or doesn’t wantanyonespecial in her life.”

  “I’ve been meaning to ask you about that. Had you noticed Heather before you came to Christ?”

  145”Yes, but she didn’t get out much before Mrs. Holden died, so I was just drawn to her looks. But now that we’ve talked and I know how nice she is, the feelings are much stronger.”

  “This is when trust is so key, Nate. We don’t know if God will ever touch Heather’s heart concerning you, but we can still trust Him. Memorize Isaiah 26, verses3and 4. If ever you’re tempted to think that God doesn’t know her heart or yours, remember those

  verses.

  Nate looked them up on the spot and had to laugh.

  “They’re perfect!” he said.

  “Yes, they are,” Rylan agreed, also laughing.

  Moments later Nate thanked him and went on his way, but Rylandidn’thurry home. He sat back down by the creek to pray for his friend. Rylan would never presume to know what God had in mind for Nate, but the pastor did ask God to move and work concerning Heather. He didn’t ask for himself but in God’s will, knowing that if God wasn’t glorified by such a relationship, it would not be worth a moment’s time or place in Nate’s and Heather’s lives.

  Clancy hadn’t meant to boss Seth, and she certainly hadn’t meant to get caught in the act. For a moment, however, the sevenyear-old forgot what her mother had said.

  “Did you fix those shoe boxes yet?” Clancy asked not long before dinner on the busiest day of the week.

  “I haven’t had time,” Seth told her, working to right a display of kitchen knives.

  “Well, they need it and so do those bowls and pitchers on the top shelf.”

  “Thank you, Clancy,” Seth said, having seen Jessie come up behind their daughter.

  “Are you giving Seth orders?” Jessie asked, her voice quiet but astounded and angry that she’d been disobeyed.

  146Clancy spun, her lower lip tucked between her teeth, telling her mother she had heard correctly.

  “Head to the stairs and do not move until I get there.”

  “But it’s Saturday!” the little girl argued.

  “Go!”

  Clancy went off, and Seth waited only for her to disappear to ask about what she’d said.

  “I’ve been known to send the girls to sit on the stairs on a Saturday and been so busy I’ve forgotten them,” Jessie explained.

  “How long will you leave her there?”

  Jessie was about to answer when she saw what needed to be done. “Why don’t you go to her? Maybe if you tell her you don’t want to be bossed, she’ll remember.”

  “All right,” Seth agreed, thinking he would never have dared to suggest it. It wasn’t that he hadn’t given the girls directions, but he never got after them. He figured that would come in time, when the relationship wasn’t so new.

  “I’ve been thinking,” Jessie said quietly, knowing it wouldn’t be long before she was needed elsewhere in the store. “I have some questions.”

  “For me?”

  “Yes.”

  “All right.”

  “I don’t want the girls to know anything more, but I need to know some things.”


  “Sure,” Seth agreed, glad he’d already anticipated this. “Just let me know when.”

  There was no time for more. Both husband and wife were needed by customers in the next few seconds.

  147

  IT WAS SOME TIMEbefore Seth had time to even go check on Clancy. He found her lying across the second step, looking bored and put out. He sat on the bottom step to be on her level.

  “Is Mama coming?” she asked as soon as she spotted him, sitting up in the process.

  “No, I’m here to talk to you.”

  “Not Mama?”

  “Not this time,” Seth said, working to find brief and simple words for all the things in his heart. “I want to tell you something, and I want you to listen carefully. I think we all have jobs to do. Your job is to be a little girl who listens to her mother and does what she’s told. My job is to work and take care of things for your mother here in the store, and do whatsheneeds me to do.”

  Clancy watched him, her eyes intent on his face.

  “It’s wrong of you to boss me around. But I don’t want you to boss me around because your mother said not to. I don’t want you giving me orders because it’s notyourjob. Do you understand, Clancy?”

  “What’s my job?”

  “Your job is to be seven. You’re not an adult, so you don’t need to

  148act like one. You need to be seven and listen to what your mother and I tell you, and then obey.”

  “Are you mad at me?”

  “No, but if you forget and boss me around again, I’m not going to wait for your mother to find out. I’ll put you on the stairs myself.”

  Her eyes grew a little over this statement, but Seth did not sense that she was going to argue.

  /“You can getup from the stairs now,” Seth said.

  He watched the little girl stand, but she didn’t try to move. Seth wasn’t sure if she didn’t believe he had the right to dismiss her from this place of punishment or if she thought she was still in trouble.

  “We call you Seth,” Clancy said suddenly.

  “Yes, you do,” that man agreed, wondering where this had come from.

  A moment later, Clancy was gone. Hannah had come looking for her, and she had gone with her sister without a backward glance. Seth went back to work himself, but his mind was not on anything but Clancy. Somehow he thought her last statement might be significant, but for the life of him he couldn’t figure out why.

  Jeanette, Heather, and Becky walked home from church together on Sunday, each with their own thoughts. They would probably discuss the sermon over dinner as they usually did, but at the moment Jeanette had Nate and Heather on her mind again. That man had sat with Bri, Danny, and Seth. He’d not come anywhere near Heather, but Jeanette had seen him glance her way several times.

  Jeanette had run out of patience. She was ready to launch a full-blown investigation of Heather’s feelings on the matter and planned to do so as soon as they were home. However, she hadn’t counted on Becky, who had some thoughts and ideas of her own.

  “Are you ever going to notice Sheriff Nate?” the cook asked the moment Jeanette’s front door closed behind them.

  149”Why would I notice Nate?” Heather asked when she realized Becky was speaking to her.

  “Because he notices you. Haven’t you seen it?”

  Heather stared at Becky in dumbfounded silence and then looked to Jeanette. That lady nodded ever so gently, and Heather looked stunned. She tried to recall even one time when Nate Kaderly had shown her any kind of preference and couldn’t think of any. And then that time in the shop when Jeanette asked her about Nate came rushing to mind.

  “That day, Jeanette, when you asked me if Nate was sweet on me, what had you seen?”

  “Nothing too overt, Heather. He just tends to linger and talk to you if he has a chance.”

  Heather looked very shaken by this. That had been months ago. “And you, Becky,” she went on, her voice very sober, “what are you seeing?”

  “Just that he looks your way,” Becky said plainly, almost wishing she’d kept her mouth shut. She hadn’t meant to upset anyone.

  “I take it you don’t want anything to do with him,” Jeanette stated without censure.

  “It’s not that. It’s that he must think that I think that.”

  Jeanette and Becky both took a moment to compute this. The sentence had been a mess, but they did catch her meaning.

  “So you do have feelings for him?” Becky asked, deciding to be clear.

  “I don’t know if I have romantic feelings for him, but I do care. He’s so very kind, and he’s my brother in Christ. I would hate to think he finds me cold or apathetic. Nothing could be further from the truth.”

  For a moment Heather looked as helpless as she felt. She had honestly believed she was not the type of woman who attracted men. It was not hard to make this deduction as no one in her 34 years had ever stepped forward in any way.

  “What will you do?” Jeanette finally asked.

  “I don’t know.Idon’t know what it all means.”

  150”But you might welcome his attention?” Becky again went right to the point.

  “I don’t know,” Heather repeated, sounding confused.

  Her friends knew that enough had been said. Without revisiting the subject, the women moved toward the dining room and kitchen. Sunday dinner was not a short meal, but the topic of Nate and Heather did not come up again.

  “Good morning,” Seth greeted Hannah as she came to the front counter on Tuesday morning.

  “Good morning,” she repeated, not catching her father’s smiling eyes as he watched her.

  Her hair was brushed, and she was dressed and ready for the day, but she was not awake. Nevertheless, she climbed up on the counter as she often did and watched her father sort the mail.

  “What are you doing today?” Seth asked.

  “Nothing.”

  “When does school start?”

  She perked up a little bit with this question, and Seth knew he was onto something.

  “In a few weeks. I can read!”

  “That’s great. What do you like to read?”

  “Mama has some books from when she was little. They were Grandma Wheeler’s. I don’t know all the words, but I like those.”

  “Maybe you could read to me sometime.”

  “You want me to?” Hannah asked, her face alight with pleasure.

  “I do want you to. Maybe when I stop for dinner today”

  “Maybe what?” Clancy asked, coming on the twosome and joining Hannah on the counter. It was something Jessie allowed as long as they weren’t in a customer’s way.

  “Hannah is going to read to me,” Seth explained, only to draw a

  151huge frown from his younger daughter. Clancy directed this face at her sister, and Seth wondered what had just happened.

  “You’ll learn, Clancy,” Hannah said with a surprising measure of patience. “I didn’t know how to read at your age either.”

  “This year?” Clancy demanded.

  “Yes. I’ll even help you.”

  Clancy turned the frown on Seth, and even though he knew she was being demanding and difficult, he wanted to laugh. The fact that he’d been let in on yet another facet of his children’s lives was delightful to him. He couldn’t remember how old he was when he’d learned to read, but he did remember the first time he’d read an entire book. The accomplishment had given him such pride that after he blew out his lantern, he smiled into the darkness until he fell asleep.

  “I want reading too,” Clancy said.

  “When Hannah reads to me?” Seth clarified.

  “Yes.”

  “That’s fine. If for some reason it doesn’t work out today, then we’ll plan on tomorrow.”

  “Which book?” Hannah suddenly asked.

  “You can choose.”

  “I have to ask Mama!” Hannah said, and jumped off the counter in lightning speed, racing for the storeroom where Jessie was working on th
e books.

  Clancy stayed, watching her father in silence, so Seth tried the same line of questioning.

  “What are you doing today?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Are you excited for school?”

  “Only if Miss Bolton is going to teach me to read and not call me Maryann.”

  “Why don’t you like Maryann?”

  “My name is Clancy.”

  The name Clancy floated through the air just then.

  “It sounds like your mother is looking for you,” Seth said, impressed

  152when she got right down and went that way. He finished up with the mail and started on a few boxes that had arrived. Jessie had ordered some small items-hair combs and even some jewelry. He was in the midst of putting these away when he noticed a headache starting. Seth didn’t get headaches or become ill very often and so did his best to ignore the pain, figuring it would soon pass.

  “Do you know where the tin pans are?” The questioning voice caused him to turn.

  “Yes, ma’am. Right over here.”

  Seth saw to the woman’s needs, but it was getting harder to ignore the headache. It was starting to throb in his temples, making his head feel ready to explode. By the time he waited on two more customers, even his ears were starting to feel full and miserable. This was the way Jessie found him.

  “Seth?” she said quietly, taking in his white face and confused eyes. “I have a headache,” he said, not wasting any time.

  “How bad?”

  “Bad.”

  “Come with me,” Jessie said, noticing that he moved very slowly and without question. “Hannah,” Jessie said when they passed her, “if someone comes in, tell them I’ll be right back.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “No questions,” her mother said, and Hannah, afraid of what she saw in Seth’s face, kept her mouth shut.

  “Jessie?” Seth managed very quietly when she began to climb the stairs, but that woman didn’t try to answer.

  “Come upstairs,” she ordered him, albeit softly. “I want you to lie down.”

  Seth obeyed mindlessly, not remembering much about the next few minutes. He was suddenly in the girls’ bedroom, Jessie helping him with his shoes and clothing. When at last his head touched the pillow, he shuddered with Pain and worked to let his body relax. He felt covers on his chest and maybe Jessie’s hand on his face, but when exactly he sank into blackness he wasn’t sure.