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  It was some time before Marcail could speak and when she did, there was a torrent of questions. Patrick and Theresa did their best to explain all that had transpired. For some reason, Marcail's young mind centered on Doctor Weston.

  "I wish he'd never come here."

  "Marcail, Doctor Weston's visit changed nothing. I'm thankful he was able to tell me what I have and how serious it is. That way my time with you can be extra special."

  The little girl looked unconvinced and Theresa wondered if maybe she needed someone to blame. Marcail needed a little time right now to face all she'd been told. She was usually so grown up and had always been so intelligent that it was easy to forget she was still a little girl. Soon after, Theresa was tucking Marcail into bed and settling down to sit with her until she was deeply asleep.

  Patrick let himself out of the bedroom to find Kate in the hall. The rest of the house was very quiet.

  "How is she?"

  "Pretty shook up. She blames the doctor. I suppose she needs someone to point a finger at and he's become the center of her blame. I'll talk to her in the morning."

  They were quiet for a moment and Kate watched her father stare past the door that stood ajar to the bedroom. She knew he was watching his wife as she knelt by Marcail's bed. Kate's hands clenched at her sides and she turned away to keep from crying.

  What would Father do without her? What would they all do without her? Oh God, her heart prayed, You could do a miracle, You could heal her. But even as the words came they were pushed away by others, Your will, God. Your will, not mine.

  This is how Jesus felt at Gethsemane, only worse. With this thought Kate knew an aching desire to read those verses and she moved down the hall to her brother's door.

  "Sean, it's me," she said as she opened the door. "Can I borrow your Bible?" Sean nodded toward the nightstand that was lit by an oil lamp. Kate lowered herself to the edge of Sean's bed where he lay looking at the shadows on the high ceiling.

  He heard the rustle of pages for a few minutes and then silence. He broke it with words spoken in a whisper, "Read it to me, Katie."

  "Luke 22:39-42: And he came out, and went, as he was wont, to the Mount of Olives; and his disciples also followed him. And when he was at the place, he said unto them, Pray that ye enter not into temptation. And he was withdrawn from them about a stone's cast, and kneeled down, and prayed, Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done."'

  Kate turned slightly on the bed to see her brother. His eyes were filled with tears.

  "She's really going to die, isn't she Kate?"

  Kate could only nod and hold the hand that her brother thrust toward her. They stayed together on the bed for a long time, neither one speaking, and both trying to understand their mother's illness and the thought of life without her.

  nine

  The day after Theresa made her stern speech to the family and told Marcail of the illness, the entire clan set off to see San Francisco in Aunt Maureen's open buggy. The morning fog had burned off and, with the sun climbing into the sky, Maureen gave everyone a grand tour of the city.

  They drove past mansions with balconies, widow's walks, columned porches, and towers. A few houses sported windows with beautiful stained glass. Every imaginable style of architecture could be found. The children gaped in awe at the sizes as well as the variations in color. It became very apparent as the day wore on that their aunt's home, grand as it was, was not the biggest nor the finest San Francisco had to offer.

  They sat for a time at the shores of San Francisco Bay and looked across the water to Alcatraz Island. The prison on the island had been holding prisoners from the early-18-60's,-so- Maureen informed everyone.

  They finished their morning with Aunt Maureen treating them to lunch at one of the fine downtown hotels.

  The coming weeks brought on a pattern of sorts. Most mornings the family would go on an outing and return home for lunch. Theresa spent the afternoons resting or writing letters. Even though she was taking it easy, she was growing worse. Almost daily now she would find blood on her handkerchief, and, try as she might to hide it, the whole family was aware of it.

  But her spirits were buoyant and she was very pleased at how normal everyone was acting. Maureen, who was nearly convinced that the children were perfect, had her first glimpse of real family life one afternoon when she was visiting with Theresa in the bedroom.

  "Marcail!" Kate, clearly furious, shouted her sister's name. Maureen's eyes grew round as laughter was heard from across the hall and then a furious tirade in a foreign tongue. Maureen, who had been staring at the open door to the hallway, turned to find Theresa's eyes filled with amusement.

  "What is she saying?" Maureen almost gasped.

  Theresa listened for a moment. "She's going to beat Marcail as soon as she catches her, and Sean had better stay hidden because when he comes out she's going to beat him too."

  "But what language is she speaking?"

  "Hawaiian. All the children are fluent. And Kate rarely speaks English when she's angry or flustered."

  Things quieted down a moment later, and then Patrick let himself into the room. He closed the door and leaned against it, chuckling. The women waited for him to speak.

  "Marcail was hiding in the wardrobe wearing a fake beard and a man's hat. Sean put her up to it and Kaitlin plans to get them both."

  "I gave that beard and hat to Sean. I never dreamed-" Maureen let the sentence hang, obviously feeling like an accomplice.

  "It's not your fault Maureen," her brother reassured her. "And even though Kaitlin is angry, believe me, the children have never had so much fun."

  The older woman looked greatly relieved and by the time she saw the children, they were once again the best of friends.

  Weeks later Father read aloud to the family a letter he'd received from Pastor Graves in Hawaii. The reply had come with remarkable speed after sending word of Theresa's condition. The letter reported that all was well but the Donovan family was sorely missed. Everyone sent their love and said they were praying for Theresa.

  Patrick, his heart filled with regret, wrote back to say that Theresa's condition was deteriorating swiftly and that he had no idea when they would be returning. Taking his time, he walked slowly and deliberately to post the letter. His heart, although burdened with his wife's health, trusted God to do His perfect will in their lives.

  "This is what Theresa was talking about on the boat." Patrick uttered the words aloud and came to an abrupt stop on the street. "I promised Pastor Graves I'd come back to Hawaii and I'll have to do just that after she's gone, even if only to explain my plans and pack the rest of our belongings."

  He sat on a stone wall that landscaped a neighbor's yard for a long time, staring at nothing. The afternoon was quiet and no one disturbed him as he faced the promise he had made. He prayed long and hard and, when he knew what he would do, went straight home to talk with his sister and his children. The letter, at least for the moment, was forgotten in his pocket.

  "But Father, you were so sick... I really think I should go.

  "It's out of the question, Kaitlin, although I appreciate your offer."

  Kaitlin and Sean looked grief stricken and Father was thankful that Marcail was not here. He knew it was very hard to talk as if their mother were already dead but it was better to know ahead of time what the situation would be. Patrick turned to his sister.

  "You're sure, Maureen? I mean, I can make other arrangements."

  "Don't be ridiculous, Patrick. Of course they can stay here."

  "I'd be happy to go with you, Father."

  Patrick's eyes filled with tears over the sincerely spoken words from his son. He knew very well how fresh his son's memory of the trip over was.

  "I know that wasn't an easy offer for you to make, Son, and I thank you, but no, I want you to stay here.

  "Now, I'm not going to make a promise to you that I'll be right back. I've prayed about
this and right now I don't think I can go back as a pastor in Hawaii. I'm returning to settle things and gather our possessions. I'll return to San Francisco as quickly as I can. I want you to understand that I'll be back as swiftly as God wills. If something deters me, I trust God to care for you. As your Aunt said earlier, this is your home for as long as you need it."

  Everyone went their separate ways when Father was finished. He sat for a long time hurting, but sure in his heart that he'd done the right thing by warning the family of his plans.

  Three days later his conviction was confirmed when Theresa Donovan, beloved wife and mother, slipped peacefully and with little pain, from her afternoon nap into the waiting arms of her heavenly Father.

  ten

  There were few mourners at the funeral and Kaitlin was glad. Never in her life had she wanted privacy more. Not from the family, she was desperate to be near them. But the hardest thing she'd ever lived through was dealing with the undertaker-a stranger coming and taking her mother's frail body away to prepare for the burial. Every time she thought of it she felt ill.

  Without warning, all the duties her mother had performed-the washing and cooking, the teaching and loving-rushed into her heart like a tidal wave. And just as suddenly, the weight of being the eldest daughter crowded in upon her.

  I'm not ready to be a mother figure to Sean or Marcail, God. Her heart cried out to her heavenly Father and, even though she was looking into the grave, she was very conscious of Marcail's little hand seeking comfort within her own. Sean stood to the other side of her, so close that his shoulder brushed her own. Father had knelt down on the far side of Sean as though lessening the distance to his wife's body might comfort him in some small measure.

  Kaitlin watched him rise a few moments later and, out of the corner of her eye, caught the movement of a man approaching.

  "I'm sorry, Mr. Donovan," Dr. Weston spoke quietly as he stepped inside the small family circle.

  "Thank you for coming." Father shook the doctor's hand and did nothing to hide his tears. Dr. Weston turned and spoke to Sean before moving on to Kate. Kaitlin was thankful for his kindness even as she became aware that Marcail was trying to hide behind her. Kaitlin held tightly to her hand and gave a little warning squeeze. Marcail did remember her manners and thanked the doctor politely when he expressed his sympathy to her but her eyes clearly spoke her distrust. Father had taken time for a long talk with Marcail, as he had planned, but Kate wondered when the nine-year-old would understand that Dr. Weston had nothing to do with their mother's death.

  Dr. Weston spoke at length with Maureen, bringing her tears on afresh. The family watched him move toward his small carriage. It seemed the best time to follow suit. Within minutes the family was aboard their own transportation and headed back to the Kent home.

  It was with great pain that the children bade good-bye to their father two weeks later. Kaitlin, already feeling as if something vital had been severed from her with her mother's death, was so overcome by Father's leaving that she could not stop crying.

  Sean said little, wanting very much to be the man. But his eyes were almost angry, and Father held him tightly in his arms for a long time.

  Marcail, having just a week before found out about her father's departure, was so upset she'd vomited twice. Father held her close and mopped her small face.

  His heart toyed with the idea of gathering his children and returning to Hawaii for good, but even as the thought came he pushed it away. He didn't think he was in any shape to return and minister to the people there. They had only been in California a week before they'd been made aware of the seriousness of Theresa's illness, so this had not been a restful time as planned.

  Father planned to leave very early in the morning so good-byes to his family were conducted at bedtime the night before. No one was asleep the next morning when he left, but everyone stayed in their rooms even as his steps were heard in the hall.

  Maureen did her level best to occupy the children for two days before deciding that maybe they didn't need distraction so much as they needed to let themselves grieve. She planned to allow them a few days to themselves and was feeling very good about her decision when she heard heavy footsteps in the entry way. She was walking the length of the library when a tall figure appeared in the doorway. Maureen rushed forward with a joyous cry and threw her arms around her loved one. Percy was home.

  eleven

  Percival Lawton was immediately captivated with his cousin Kaitlin. In a foul mood he had left Europe on a ship he felt was beneath his station. He'd lost badly at the gaming tables in London. With his best friends still in Europe, Percy resigned himself to a life of boring social rounds with his mother until he could soften her into giving him some more cash. But to his infinite delight he arrived home to find the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen living directly under his roof.

  Kaitlin, in her grief, was unaware of the heart-flutter- ing she was causing within the chest of her cousin. She had been spending many hours reading and talking with her siblings. This didn't leave much time for the other members of the household but Maureen understood, knowing they were going to survive this painful ordeal by those very actions.

  Percy, on the other hand, was extremely frustrated over Kaitlin's lack of response to him. He knew he was good looking, and indeed he was, but it wouldn't have mattered if he were Prince Charming himself, Kaitlin was in no shape for a romantic attachment.

  The thing that bothered Percy the most was the amount of reading Kaitlin did. He felt it a great insult that she could actually prefer a book to his engaging company.

  It was not at all unusual to pass her bedroom on the way out of his own, and see her curled up in a chair reading her Bible. She also read in the library. Not books so much, but the newspapers. And not just the front page stories, as he did, but every page and every word, he was sure.

  What Percy failed to see was how starved these children were for current news after living on an island for so many years. Oh, there had been contact, but never this daily fare of words to be devoured at their leisure. And Percy was right, Kaitlin did read every word, even the want ads. Sean was just as bad, and even Marcail could spend an hour with whatever page she'd been allotted.

  All of these seemingly simple pleasures, such as reading a newspaper and having time to themselves were working wonders in the hearts of the Donovan children. Daily they felt the pain of their loss and the separation from their father, but also daily, God was their comfort. And not having extra emotional burdens was more beneficial than even they realized, but Maureen saw it and knew she'd handled things the right way. There was a little something bothering her, nagging just at the back of her mind, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. The children were fairly happy and eating well and she told herself she was worrying over nothing.

  Unfortunately the secure world that Maureen had gone to such lengths to create for her nieces and nephew was about to be destroyed.

  All four of the cousins were in the library reading one morning; Percy had joined them in an attempt to be near Kaitlin. He held the paper in such a way that he could watch her surreptitiously. He couldn't believe that black hair. It haunted him. And those eyes, deep brown and set in a face with perfect skin. Her skin was a bit darker than he was used to, but all the more beguiling because of that fact.

  Even in an unbecoming black dress, Kaitlin had the best figure Percy had seen in a long time. A desire to hold her in his arms was clouding his already poor judgment. He was sure she'd never experienced passion of any kind and he was equally sure if he could just hold and kiss her she would awaken to a love for him that would have her falling at his feet.

  Percy really believed on this day that he could wait it out, wait for her to put aside her paper and then invite her to go for a drive with him. But it was not to be. How they could all sit and read for hours was beyond him. When he could stand it no longer he came swiftly to his feet.

  "Would anyone care to go for a walk?" His
voice was curt but it was lost on the readers.

  "Not just now, but thanks, Percy," Sean answered distractedly.

  Percy was furious that Kaitlin had not even heard him. He tossed his head to show his irritation but Kate didn't look up until he slammed the door on his exit.

  Kaitlin's surprised eyes met those of Sean's, who only shrugged in equal puzzlement. They were both headed back to their papers when Marcail said quietly, "He's in love with you, Katie."

  "Who is?" Kate questioned in genuine ignorance.

  "Cousin Percy."

  Kaitlin waited a moment for Marcail to smile and tell her she was joking but it didn't happen. The little girl was serious. A frisson of alarm shot through Kate and she looked over at Sean to see that he was just as surprised.

  "Why do you say that, Marc?" Kaitlin asked cautiously.

  "He watches you all the time. Just like Scott used to."

  "That doesn't mean he's in love with me." Kate's words didn't convince Marcail who just stared at her older sister and gnawed on her lower lip. In fact, Kate's words didn't convince herself.

  There had been a few signs, she realized that now. But the whole idea had been inconceivable to her. They were cousins! When they'd first met she thought he was quiet, because all he did was stare silently at her. But she saw now that she'd taken him by surprise.

  Kaitlin put her paper aside and went to her room. She prayed a long time about the situation. When she came down for lunch she was feeling some better and was almost relieved to find that Percy was absent.

  Over the next few days Kate was very aware of Percy's actions toward her and knew that what Marcail had seen was true. Her cousin was infatuated with her.

  Kate ended up in Sean's room one night talking to him about the way she felt. He'd taken his parents' room upon Percy's return.

 

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